Teaching is truly odd

Life is so funny... when you get the time to stop and think about it. I'm sitting on my couch with my hubby, watching "Exploring the West" (quite a worthwhile show if you ever get the chance) and perusing the blogs of my students. While I am in a complete estate of calm, the perusal of their blogs comes at a price- a realization of just how far I have to push my kids to get by the end of the year. And they are such a diverse class of 7th and 8th graders, each student offering something completely unique to his/herself the rest of the class and me. Much of that diversity comes in the form of important concepts and ideas that they lack! Each one of these has not fully taken in the gift that is their education, but the parts of the package that have been lost are truly different from child to child. And to think that I doubted coming back this year. Yes there are times when this job is difficult, no, no, AGONIZING; times when I realize just how underpaid I am and how impossible this job really is; times that I lose all hope in my own ability to stay calm and sane.

But there are also those other times, times like right before this when I was reviewing my students' blogs; times when I know that I get to help influence the thinking of children that are far brighter than they know they are, far brighter than they wish to be; there are those times when I realize that my attitude towards teaching becomes their attitude towards learning, and class becomes a ship that sails through oceans of the most beautiful, most carefully chosen diction that the literary world has every seen; there are those times when they try their hardest to contradict my very being and I can see that spark beginning to ignite within them the flame that, if stoked correctly, will power them to be... whatever they want to be. But the most beautiful part of my job is that everyday is a day spent doing exactly what I love to do.

I Miss Creative Writing!

I was ecstatic when I found out that we were going to be writing fiction short stories of our own, but as soon as I sat down to begin writing the thing I completely froze, all my thoughts rushed out of my head, and for once I experienced having an internal critic- nothing that I though of was good enough, everything was boring! And I couldn't help but feel the slightest bit sorry for myself because I used to be a marvelous creative writer! But the more I though about it, the more I realized that the only thing that I have to blame for my momentary writer's block was school!

The drab art of writing ABOUT fiction leaves nothing to the imagination- each word is carefully defined and discussed to so s to create a cohesive argument about th author's meaning or intentions in writing the piece. We have become lawyers, arguing the meaning of a comma, creating arguments from nothing and supporting them in the most lifeless way possible. After doing this, and only thins, for four years it is understandable that the creative process came slow to me, and possibly to others. Because writing fiction is about being completely uninhibited, using the left side of your brain to create a picture, not pick it apart. And I have to say, writing fiction is much more enjoyable than this academic stuff we've been asked to do for so many years. Interestingly enough, though, teaching students how to write about fiction is on the same level as writing fiction—my students say that I’m a dork because I get so excited about it!

Myth Study vs. Myth Creation

Mythology. I have been reading mythology since the 1st grade-- since Mrs. Atlas read us the story of Hercules; and I've loved it ever since. But enjoying the stories and studying their essential components are two very different things. I cannot say which came first, the chicken or the egg- I'm not sure if my study of myths enhanced my own myth or if my myth enhanced my understanding of myths in general, but I'm sure that the learning process was not linear-- quite the opposite, in fact.

In viewing the Power Point presentations that the various groups in the class created I began to see the patterns that myths follow, the trickster character who often serves to teach the reader a moral lesson, the importance of and difference between mythical and sacred landscapes, the mountains and rivers that act as symbols, or focal points to different peoples or civilizations, and it was in these patterns that I was able to imagine my own myth. But this knowledge meant very little to me until I began my own story, a creation myth which explains that appearance of the stars. In working my way through the different settings in which I could place my myth, the different landmarks which I should include, I was able to grasp the importance of what was discussed during the Power Point lectures and found the information to engrained in my mind the more I worked.

I find this to be a very valuable teaching technique (teaching a concept and then asking students to synthesize that knowledge—which incidentally complies with Bloom’s Taxonomy, as the second highest form of knowledge assessment, and is thus something that Master Teachers, University Field Supervisors and the California Commission on Teacher Credentialing, all love) and it is the way that I strive to teach in my classes. This method also allows for tons of assessments, both formative and summative, so you are assured to have several grades/grading period!

writing about poetry vs. creating poetry

Having had to write several papers about poetry over my years of schooling
analyzing it,
finding meaning in it
and making sense of it,
I can say that I honestly feel very comfortable reading a complex poem and teaching it to others-
I can make meaning of it's
s
t
r
u
c
t
u
r
e,
analyze all occurrence of alliteration,
(whether is occurs immediately or in time)
find and explain its end rhyme
etc.
Some would say that this should make me a good poet-
that I should be able to create beautiful works because I can reproduce the elements of
good
poetry
(tears rolling down the lace petals of a lily in the morning light).
But I disagree!
Imitation and study do not make good poetry!
If one examines the work of Elliot-
The Wasteland
words
thrown
about
with
seemingly
no
regard.
Does he rhyme?
And where is the assonance?
But he makes a wonderful point,
a paints a vivid picture.
What, then, makes good poetry "good"?
I believe that in matters such a this
that the easiest answer is:
poetry is meant to inspire
like Yeats' "widening gyre"
or Blake's Tyger.
I contend that education, or rather,
knowledge,
is very important when arranging words on paper in the hope of creating a poem,
otherwise what the reader is left with are only words,
arranged much like flowers in a vase-
but eventually that beauty fades
and the admirer is left with nothing of substance.
Thus a poet should be always aware of those that came before him,
soak up and bleed their thoughts-
but the difference between creation and imitation is slim-
thus their usage should be carefully planned shots.

But when all is said and written,
make sure that it is from the heart
because either way someone will cut it down
so you should at least have fun creating it!

Where to begin? That has always seemed to be the most difficult part for me, the beginning. I want to come up with something amazing but all that comes to mind is the very cliché, "Hi my name is Jackie and I want to be an English teacher" I guess that will have to do for now.

I have worked for the past 3.5 years to achieve my goals (getting my teaching credential and BA in English) and after the long hard road I can finally see the end- graduation in MAY! And after that eventful day passes I will be thrown into the world, expected to fend for myself-- I will only be 22. I suppose that is what scares me the most about teaching- the beginning: writing my first resume, going on my first real job interview, waiting to see who will take me and what is available. Once I start teaching I'm confident that I will be able to figure out whatever comes my way because I will be in control of my actions, my response to a given situation, and my choices; but the path to getting there is filled with uncertainties that I have no control over. Oddly enough, however, the uncertainties that come with teaching, the juggling of 200 different personalities throughout the course of any given school day, the technological breakdowns, the weird bell schedules, are what excite me the most about my choice of profession. I believe, ironically enough, that the most fulfilling and rewarding experiences in life are those that present the greatest challenges. I believe that through teaching, through helping the students in my class grow and see their own potential-- or (to be less ideological) at least learn that they can make it, that they can get by, that I will continue to grow as well, and hopeful one day become a capable and strong adult.